Monday, June 29, 2009

Back in Prague & Catching Up

Hi Everyone,
Thanks for your responses to the post about whistling and wearing lace--cultural differences. These issues are interesting...and I'm not feeling oppressed or repressed by them. Jiri is not demanding I refrain from these things, but I have freely chosen to not do them due to the reactions I've received from other Czechs.  


You've probably heard the saying, "When in Rome, do as the Romans." When you're living in a foreign country, married to a native of that country, then adapting is required. There is some adapting that has to take place even if you and your spouse move to a foreign country together. But being married to a native makes adapting more necessary--at least as I see it. I would like to fit in better with our relatives, friends and neighbors. 

Adapting doesn't mean being obliged to forget who you are or where you're from! I'm an American and always will be...can't help it or change it. But I can adapt the way I relate to the world--this is necessary--while still maintaining my personhood. This is an interesting topic, to be sure...and I really enjoyed reading all the Twitter responses and comments here about different ways to handle cultural differences!

Jiri and I got back home yesterday afternoon, and have hit the pavement running full steam ahead! I've been very busy with unpacking (one of my least favorite jobs), and trying to get caught up with emails, proofreading work, etc. I'm also busy going through all the pictures from our trip to Rome, and starting to put together the material for blog posts this week!

We had a great time in Rome, though it was a short time, we managed to hit the major sightseeing places. I'll tell you more about those this week! As my friend, Karen, says...Rome was truly awesome!

Also, thanks to all the Entrecard droppers who kept dropping while I was away! We didn't have an Internet connection while in Rome, so I'm getting caught up with Entrecard today!

That's all for now...Wednesday will be the first post about our trip--be sure to come back to hear about Rome!

Have a great day!

God bless,
Sher :0)

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(c) 2009 by czechoffthebeatenpath

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Whistling & Off to Italy

Comune di Roma
Image via Wikipedia


Hi Everyone,
We've been having some adventures with culture the past few days, that's for sure! Jiri and I have been discussing the whistling/not whistling issue off and on. Obviously whistling isn't so much of an issue--I've been here for 2.5 years and Jiri has not heard me whistle in that time, until just the other day. Whistling is something I enjoy, but will probably do it when no one is around, no one can hear me or see me...and when I'm back in the States I'll definitely use those opportunities to get in any whistling that I feel the need or wish to do! 


The main issue, for me, is trying to adapt to European/Czech culture without feeling repressed. There is a fine line there that is hard to discern between feeling repressed and adapting happily. The only way to discern being off balance seems to be what we call, in the US, "listening to your gut." 

Your "gut" will definitely let you know with feelings of unhappiness, depression, and other signs that you are feeling unhappy and maybe repressed. If you're beginning to feel repressed it is a sign of being out of balance and of things not working; then it's time to discuss some solutions and options with your partner/spouse. There needs to be a mutuality involved in the process of adaptation of a foreign spouse into the home country/culture of the "native" spouse/partner. You should be able to compromise and find a solution that lets you both feel comfortable and happy.

Europeans/Czechs frown on women whistling, especially in public. It means the woman is somehow rough, loose in morals, lewd, etc. This is how Jiri feels about a woman whistling, too. Therefore, I must refrain from this pass time in this culture. I can't wear lace or whistle, however I can stand outside nude on a hot day...go figure! 


Americans don't understand these things very well...and I'm one of them, as open-minded as I try to be! Even though I don't understand, I feel the need to refrain from these activities in order to have a happy relation with my husband and those around us. I'm living here...married to a "native"...and need to comply with certain things in order to maintain regular relations with everyone, including my husband. This is what I understand, and I'm willing to do, until I begin to feel repressed. Fortunately, I'm not feeling repressed at this time!

On to another topic...later today Jiri and I are leaving for the Eternal City--Rome! Neither of us has been to Rome before and we're both looking forward to seeing this beautiful city where so much history has taken place. There will be so much to see there...and this is a short trip...I'm hoping that we will manage the Vatican and other very historical places!

Well, that's all for today...I need to finish packing and prepapring for the trip! You all have a great day! I'm hoping to have Internet while in Rome (of course it's there, but if the hotel charges too much we might not have it), and if we do, I'll be dropping Entrecards as usual. If not, then I'll take up dropping when we get home this weekend. Thanks for stopping by...you all have a great day!

God bless,
Sher :0)

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(c) 2009 by czechoffthebeatenpath

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Friday, June 19, 2009

Do Unto Others--Cultural Differences & Respect



Hi Everyone,
Last month I began a short series about cross-cultural relationships. There were two posts, "Foreign Relations--A Czech and an American," and "Language of Love: Czech-American Style." Today, I would like to finish that series about cross-cultural relationships by talking about mutual respect. 

There is a scripture in the Bible that says,"Therefore whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets" (Matthew 7:12 New King James Version). We call it the Golden Rule, and it means, simply, that we should treat others as we would like them to treat us. If we want to be treated with love and care, then we need to treat others with love and care, etc. The Golden Rule is an excellent guide for all relationships, and the hardest rule to apply in a long-term relationship such as a marriage or partnership. I'm not going to make this post a sermon, but would like you to keep the Golden Rule in mind as you read on.

All relationships should be based on mutual respect. I can't think of one relation that's not based on respect...even the relationship I have with my dog, Pal, is one that's heavily based on respect. I respect his size and his teeth, he respects that I feed him...so we have a mutual respect that works for us both! I keep my hands and fingers, and he gets fed! Well, it's not that drastic, Pal is a very loving guy--just very big and powerful! This is just a fun example of today's topic about respect.  

With regards to relationships, here we need to look at our long-term cross-cultural relationships, and apply the Golden Rule. It's not so easy to find mutual ground in a relationship when two people come from vastly different backgrounds and cultures. However, it is vital to develop this respect, in the process of tending the garden of your love and enabling your relationship to blossom and thrive.

It is necessary, right from the very beginning, to acknowledge that you will not always understand or agree with every cultural aspect of your loved one. It took me a long time and much frustration to realize this. There are still so many aspects of Czech culture I don't understand, but have had to adapt to in order to live here successfully as the wife of a
Czech. These aspects have to do with everything from American arguing techniques compared to Czech’s, to who will enter a restaurant first, and who pays!

There is one example that comes to mind when thinking about some of the absurdities of cross-cultural respect and that’s the issue of wearing lace in the
Czech Republic. Back in the States, ladies (and even some guys!) wear lace. It’s not considered anything bad or necessarily tantalizing (depending on where and how it’s worn). For instance, I have t-shirts that have lace embellishments near the neckline (with the neckline coming to my collar bone—not lower). 

This kind of lace on a garment (back in the States) is just normal and you can even wear it to church. But here, in the Czech Republic, lace is somehow seen as a come-on—no matter how and where it's worn. Why is this? I have no earthly idea. It’s OK to be nude here, but not to wear lace…isn’t that some kind of an oxymoron? 

I know that one time I did wear lace—one of those t-shirts—and guys were staring at my chest. I don’t get it…I don’t understand it. Lace is just not acceptable, here, unless you want to send the wrong message! So, I’ve stopped wearing lace at all, except back at home. I don’t like this situation, but that’s how it is, and I’m living in this country, so need to follow the rules in order fit in and stay safe. 

There are so many other examples that I could share with you, but I’m sure you see the picture. Sometimes it’s necessary to adapt and respect even the rules of culture we find silly and incomprehensible. If we don’t, then there are sometimes unpleasant consequences that we have to face. This goes for living in the culture, and also for living with our spouse/partner who comes from another culture. And this all goes back to the Golden Rule. If we would like to have respect for ourselves and our cultural aspects, then we have to also be ready to give the same.

I’ve spoken about compromise in those previous posts (mentioned at the beginning of this post), and how important it is to have and practice compromise in order to have a successful relationship. Compromise needs to take place at all levels and on all subjects in a cross-cultural relationship. Jiri and I are still working on this, and probably always will be…to compromise on cultural issues so that we both feel happy, relaxed, and cared for. 

That is the goal—both partners should feel satisfied and happy on most all areas of their relationship, including the cultural differences. It takes a lot of work, understanding, empathy, and sometimes even research to help this to happen. But all of this is worth the trouble so that both people can feel happy and cared for—and respected—in their relationship. The consequences of not following through on the respect and compromise of cultural differences will lead to a ruptured relationship—unhappiness and brokenness for both partners.

So, to sum up, be sure to know that you will not always understand the cultural differences of your loved one when you’re in a cross-cultural relationship. Realize that you must both work together, finding compromise, that will work and help your relationship to succeed. Remember the Golden Rule as a guide in your cross-cultural relation, as well as in all your relations. For this is the very foundation of any happy and healthy relationship. And this is all a part of tending the garden of your love for one another—I sure wish you all a wonderful and beautiful garden filled with flowers and all beautiful things!

You all have a great weekend!

God bless,
Sher :0)

PS I have a question. Today, my Czech husband told me that it's not proper for a lady to whistle! Have any of you Euro guys heard anything like this before, or is this a Czech thing? I would really like to find the answer to this! Women in the States are free to whistle--no problem. Evidently here it is considered very un-lady-like behavior--or at least it is considered in this light by my husband! So, please let me know--is it really considered bad form for a woman to whistle in Europe or the Czech Republic?

Photo credit: Microsoft Clip Art


(c) 2009 by czechoffthebeatenpath

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Busy Time!


Hi Everyone,
Didn't someone say that summer is supposed to be a time when you take life easy, things are more laid back and relaxing, you're supposed to sit in the shade of a palm tree next to a pool and sip some icy cold drink? This summer, for Jiri and I, is shaping up to be anything but relaxed and laid back! Over the next few weeks we'll be visiting Italy, moving to a new flat, and then I'll be traveling back to the States for a visit with my family, and on my return to Prague, my brother will be visiting us for the first time! Phew! No lazy summer for us, it appears!

Next week we'll be traveling to Italy--I'll tell you more about that next week. I'm excited as this will be my second trip there. Our last trip was to Florence, where I fell in love with beautiful Tuscany. This time we'll be visiting another part of Italy--and I just can't wait! But...ugh...I need stop now, or I'll tell you where we're going. I want to wait till next week to "spill the beans!" In preparation for our trip, I'm doing some homework on the history and background of the area we'll be visiting. I just can't wait!

Today, along with this background researching about Italy, I've been working on a new page for the Czech Off the Beaten Path website. The new page, "Places to Visit," is just that--a list of places to visit. The list is tied to the appropriate blog posts and is meant to help organize this blog's articles about tourist sites I've visited in the Czech Republic and in Europe.

Well, that's all for now--I'm going back to researching for next week's trip! You all have a great day!

God bless,
Sher :0)

Photo credit: Microsoft Clip Art

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Monday, June 15, 2009

Successful World Blog Surf Day!



Hi Everyone,
Wow...World Blog Surf Day, second edition, was a great success! Thanks to Hospitalera, who organized the first edition! Hospitalera gave me the information from the last WBSD--so that gave me some guidelines to work with for setting up WBSD 2, she also offered some advice when I asked for it! 


Thanks to Anastasia Ashman (Thandelike) who did a wonderful job as our Twitter reporter. Having Anastasia tweeting added fun and a live dimension to WBSD and helped to get the word out to a broader audience. 

And finally, I would like to thank all of our participating bloggers--without you there would have been no World Blog Surf Day! Each post was unique and very interesting. It was fun to see how bloggers who were in the same country still had very different posts. The whole experience was so much fun! 

Watching from the beginning to the end how all the blogs came online live was so exciting! And I honestly have to admit that I did get hungry reading all your food posts. I had to reach for the rice cakes in order to avoid eating higher calorie food/snacks. I'm not usually made hungry when reading about food...this was a first for me!

Hospitalera and I are cooking up some new things for the next World Blog Surf Day! We'll have that news out in a few days, so stay posted! I'm very excited and can't wait for the next one and the surprises we have in store! I will say that the third edition of WBSD will be sometime in Sept/Oct! Come back to hear more about the exciting surprises in store for World Blog Surf Day 3!

Next, I would like to let my Entrecard friends know that I've gotten caught up with dropping this morning! I've been busy with WBSD and didn't have time to drop, but now things are up-to-date. Thanks for all of you who continued to drop while I was involved with WBSD.

Last, I struggled with talking about my allergies in the WBSD post. I want to be sure to tell you that I don't write about
my allergies and asthma to gain sympathy. I have severe allergies and asthma that make me have to mostly live and work at home--in a "bubble," so-to-speak. Everyone has issues and conditions in their lives that are not perfect and cause much suffering, etc. I'm not unique because of my allergies/asthma. And I wasn't trying to say "look at me...look what I've done!" by talking about how I've attempted to manage this challenging aspect of my life. Rather, I want to reach out to others who are like me (or worse) and let them know that it is possible to have a good life, even with chronic conditions. 

Being diagnosed with a chronic condition is devastating. You feel like there is no Life left for you. It's hard to envision a new life that can be as good and satisfying as the one you had before diagnosis. So, these are the people I try to reach out to when talking about my situation. And I would tell them--don't give up! Try to find new ways to be and do...to find a good life, in spite of your chronic conditions. It can be done with lots of trial and error, working with your doctors and other medical professionals, researching, etc. I'm living proof it can be done--and I'm one of those who does not make changes easily! If I can do it, so can you!

If you missed the second edition of World Blog Surf Day, here is the link to all the posts! Be forewarned--eat something before you begin the trip, or have some low-cal snack on hand--you will get hungry reading all these great posts! You can also do a Twitter search for tweets made about WBSD by using #wbsd as the seach term.

Thanks, again, everyone for making World Blog Surf Day, 2nd edition, such a fun and exciting event!

You all have a great day!

God bless,
Sher :0)
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(c) 2009 by czechoffthebeatenpath